The ending of things, brings out fear and anxiousness. It’s the rejection by other people to continue with the friendship / relationship that triggers off the inadequacies and insecurities. It’s so ridiculous to be controlled by the choices and reactions of other people, yet, it’s a conditioned response. If they continue with their friendship with me, it would indicate that I’ve done things right. If they stop associating with me, it would mean I’ve been a terrible friend and I’ve been judged not worthy. Change is horribly unsettling, yet we cannot expect to carry on with life status quo . Though I would like to, no matter how bad it is. Doesn’t make sense does it? Even if it is bad, we take comfort in its familiarity. If you were to tell a fly that the faeces it is flying around is smelly and disgusting, it would beg to differ, no doubt. And I am that fly right now. The changes are overwhelming me and it’s just a matter of moving to a new place. It’s not a major change but yet, it has that effect on me. Coupled with the slowdown in business, this period is stressful. Obviously, the attachment, to things as they are, is extremely strong. The fear of the future is exceptionally strong too.
Could the new phase of my life be worse than the present phase? It could. But it could also be better. I’m being forced to move along by the forces of life. It’s not a choice I would have made, it’s the only fork left in this road, as the other forks are sealed and closed. As the saying goes, ‘When one door closes, another door opens’. Hopefully, there’s some sunshine behind the door that opens.
But, what can I possibly do to dispel that fear…….