Acceptance is the key towards happiness. If you accept the situation you are in, in life, the negative inner conversation will cease, almost immediately. There would no longer be questions and complaints of why am I here, why I am in this bloody mess, why do people treat me the way they treat me etc. etc. I can’t bear to repeat them here, they are just too hostile, negative and belittling.
There was once when I accepted my situation, I felt so much freedom, so much kindness and compassion for all. I could see things from a more optimistic angle and I was much more relieved. The magnanimity somehow disappeared into thin air and all I am left with is complaints, complaints and more complaints. The inner conversation is a torture. I can’t breathe. Being the receiving end of abuse from all levels of the population, including the closest, resentment grew in me. I loathe spending time with people, especially people who were close to me. The close they are to me, the more likely they are to take advantage of me.
So you can see, the entire two paragraphs were about me, how people treat me, poor me, pity me, suffering me, prejudice against to me, belittle me. Most things and people have become obstacles in my life, people complain and call me names because I inconvenienced them but yet, when others inconvenience me, if I complain or get angry, I would receive a worse scolding.
Conceit. It has been all about me and how others should treat me well. Conceit is killing me. I go to sleep tired and wake up even more tired. Loving kindness meditation is done to counter the loathe we may have to anyone. What can be done to overcome conceitedness ? How do I meditate to accept my situation ? How ? How ? How ?