Why should I be pressured ?

images I have come to see very clearly, those who take advantage of my weakness to get what they want. I cannot help but feel a great sense of hatred towards these people for they have caused me great anxiety. Even when the problem is not directly related to me, this person has continuously asked me again and again the same question. Frustratedly, I have given the same reply again and again. He has refused to find another way around his problem and continually push me for an answer which I can’t get for him. Why should I feel pressured for the problem that I had no part in ? As it is, I am already dealing with a problem that was not created by me directly, but by my pathetic weakness to a particular person. This weakness of being easily pressured and pushed into action and reaction has created a lot of problems in my life. I fear easily and others can see that, so they use that to their advantage. I feel like I’m going mad. I am not going to react any more to this, I am going to be a stone. Come what may. Why do I worry and care so much about how other people see me ? I think I have tried my best, to live a life I know how, I have tried my best to solve the problems I have. Who knew that when I tried to solve it, it became worse ! I do apologise to my parents for living in this state and having this type of life for it hasn’t brought them any comfort. Yet, I am in no power to change anything now, as everything is tangled up. What is the karmic cause of this ? Really, do I really owe this person so much ? I feel that I would rather die right now than to have to deal with this pressure. I remember around 10 years ago, I was under a tremendous amount of pressure too, that led to a situation of fight or flight. I ended up fighting and flighting and the result was disastrous. Everybody ended up getting hurt. So now, I feel the same anxiety happening again. Is this a 10 year thing ? I read that in purple star astrology, as you end the 10-year period and begin a new 10-year period there will be upheaval. I’m in the last year of my 10-year period. guan yin I need some loving kindness for myself. May I get through this period safely and sanely. May I be strong in face of people who push me. May I be protected by the deities in face of danger, blame and wrath. May I find a way to relieve the pressure placed on me. May the people who have caused me so much pain and anxiety be well and happy. May all of them have obstacle free lives. May they find a amicable and win-win solution to their problems. May they realise that passing their pressure onto others is not a way to solve their problems.

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