Consumed

Can’t help but feel nervous. This feeling of dread of things worse to come, the heart palpitations, the aches of the stomach and the nauseating churns in the chest and stomach.

I’m afraid that I might have forgotten to pay for something which I am supposed to pay for and I dread the possibility of this. Money solves a lot of problem so this feeling of dread stems from not having any.

Whilst in a restaurant and whilst waiting for our food, a man came up to our table and started singing.  I hated every minute of it because obviously he wanted money. I just wanted to yell at him to stop, stop preying on people’s guilty conscience.  He made me feel obligated to pay and I felt guilty for not paying, for not being nice and generous and good and helpful. I didn’t want to pay because I already had feelings of dread. A whole host of bad emotions surfaced when this man strummed his guitar and sang.   Never had I felt so abused by a song.

Everybody’s asking for money from a poor fellow like me. Is it because it’s harder to get the rich to part with their money ? …. I am feeling more nauseated than before….

imageI am that forest burning up.

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2 responses to “Consumed

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