While others …


wine and dine their way through 2016, I think I’ve pretty much whined and died my way through 2016.  I did complain a lot to others, to myself and in my head, so much so that I’m beginning to feel sick of myself now for habitually putting forth negative reactions to all events. It’s really no different now.  I’m still doing it but I’m sick of doing it.

How do I react positively to situations, to changes ?  When I try to be positive, it feels odd, feels so fake that I question myself if I am giving false, unrealistic hope.  How do you be that cheerleader in your own life ?  Especially when you’ve put in full effort and it yields no positive results.

There are advocates of effort is what’s most important.

“Satisfaction lies in the effort, not in the attainment, full effort is full victory.” – Mahatma Gandhi

Tell that to your boss, your parent, your spouse when they are looking at your harvest.  They’ll probably tell you that you are not putting in enough effort, based on the harvest you’ve just reaped. However, it isn’t a matter of putting in loads of water, sunshine and fertiliser into the fields that determines the yield of your crops, isn’t it ?  You can put in all the effort and time into caring for your crop, still the yield can be low due to various reasons.

After years of trying, do you give up ?  or do you keep trying until the day you die ?  Is that what is called dedication or stupidity ?  I’ve watched many dramas about people who try to dissuade a person from committing suicide.  Often they will argue that if you have the courage to kill yourself, why don’t you have the courage to live on ? Doesn’t the person intending to kill himself see the falseness of this argument ? The courage to kill yourself lasts but a few moments, but that courage required to live on needs to last a lifetime.  Being able to survive, to live in this world, is by itself an act of courage that happens every single day. It takes courage to decide to go on and on and on without ever getting that reward that all of us salivate for.



To all those who are still alive and kicking, despite the situation that you are in, you are the courageous ones.

I don’t quite know how to come out of my problems, as I can only see the black stormy clouds ahead and the fear I feel now for the changes that are about to come are real.

Perhaps Theodore Roosevelt’s advice is apt for me, “Do what you can, with what you have, where you are.”  And should things continue to worsen, all I can say to that is, “Oh well, I’ve tried my best.”





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